Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
