i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
