Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
