Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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