Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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