Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
