tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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