I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
