Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize