so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
