If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
