Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
