Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
