Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize