remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
