I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
