woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
