I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize