your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
