Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
