My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
