is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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