I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Drunk is not a location!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
