Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize