i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
