There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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