The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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