Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
