And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
