One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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