people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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