the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
