You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
