i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
