Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
this boner is exhausting
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
