i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
