your thong is hanging out like whoa
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Randomize
