obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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