we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize