Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
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