You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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