If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
