weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
