he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
