you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we're making bets on your personal life
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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