he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
