I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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