are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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