his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
