Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
