I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
