i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
