I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
