everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
