What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
