Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize