The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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