hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
