I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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