I heard we made out
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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