chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
