is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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