So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
